Suits (or You Want Me To Wear What?!)
by SilverLady
Summary: A strange packages arrives for the pilots from the scientists.


Category: Humor (?)  
  
Disclaimer: Standard. You know them all by now so I won't bore you with a repeat.  
  
Warnings: Silliness, yaoi hints, some lanuguage  
  
Notes: I got this idea from two pictures I have. One of Duo and Heero and the other of Trowa and Quatre. If you haven't seen the pictures, write me and I'll send them to you. (Though I'm not really sure where I got them originally, it's been to long)  
  
  
  
Suits (or You Want Me to Wear What?!)  
  
By SilverLady  
  
Duo walked into the small safehouse to find Heero staring at a large box. "Hey, Heero, what's that?"  
  
"A box."  
  
Duo huffed. "Literal bastard," he muttered under his breath. He walked over to Heero. "I can see that it's a box. I meant what's in it."  
  
"Something from J."  
  
"You mean you haven't checked?"  
  
"New flight suits." Heero suddenly pulled a smaller box from the big one. "Try it on."  
  
Duo looked at the box Heero had given him. He couldn't believe that a box this small would have any kind of flight suit in it. "What is it? A g- string."  
  
Heero glared at him.  
  
"Well, what else is going to fit in a box this small? You sure we're not going undercover for Playgirl or something?"  
  
"Go try it on."  
  
"Why don't you?" Duo demanded, having a funny feeling about the whole thing.  
  
Heero pulled out his gun and pointed it at Duo. "Go. Try. It. On."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Omae o koruso. You really need to get a new line. That one is getting so old, it's going to need a walker to get around. You know...."  
  
"Duo! Go try the damn thing on before I shove it down your damn throat!"  
  
Duo blinked in shock. He'd never heard Heero raise his voice like that before. "I'm going," he whispered, clutching the box to his chest. Spinning around he dashed down the hall to their shared room.  
  
Heero had barely put his gun away and sat back down at the table when the outside door opened again and the other three pilots stepped into the house.  
  
"Hi, Heero," Quatre called out cheerfully as he walked in. "Where's Duo?"  
  
Heero jerked his head toward the bedroom.  
  
Wufei walked over to the table and looked at the large box. "What's in the box?"  
  
"New flight suits. Duo's trying his on."  
  
Wufei blinked. He could have sworn Heero had said suits, but there was no way that there could have been more than one suit in the box. Perhaps he had misunderstood.  
  
After several minutes Heero turned to look down the hall. He had certainly given Duo more than enough time to get the stupid thing on. "Duo!"  
  
Quatre jumped. He'd been about to peek in the box and see if there really was anything in it.  
  
Silence met Heero's shout.  
  
"Duo! Get your butt out here!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Heero stormed down the hall. "Get out here so I can make sure it fits right."  
  
"Oh it fits just right. It doesn't have any choice. But I ain't comin' out."  
  
Heero gritted his teeth. "Duo."  
  
"What part of no don't you get? The n or the o?"  
  
"Come on Duo," Wufei said as he walked down the hall. "It can't be that bad."  
  
"Wanna bet. Why don't you try yours on? Then let's see what you think."  
  
"Duo if you don't come out in the next thirty seconds...."  
  
"Go ahead. I ain't comin' out for nothing short of a natural disaster. I ain't gonna let anyone see me wearing this....thing."  
  
"What if the other put theirs on?"  
  
"Everyone?"  
  
"Everyone."  
  
"Even you?"  
  
"Even me."  
  
"Swear."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then maybe I'll consider it."  
  
"Duo." The warning was very clear.  
  
"How am I supposed to believe that you'll do it? You'll just say you did and then let me come out there and...."  
  
"Are you naked?"  
  
"Damn near it." Duo muttered.  
  
"Don't tell me the great Duo Maxwell has something to be embarrassed about," Wufei crowed. "And here I thought he was perfect."  
  
"Wu-man, go blow."  
  
"Duo, in five minutes we will all meet in the living room. In the suits."  
  
A huff of breath was Heero's answer.  
  
"Five minutes."  
  
****  
  
Duo stood in the middle of the living room, tapping his foot. He could not believe that the scientists wanted them to wear these stupid things. From his neck down he was encased in tight, black ...stuff that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. At least it's black.  
  
Just then Quatre walked into the room, looking around nervously. "Do you think they have cameras set up?" he whispered.  
  
Duo noted how he was keeping behind the couch. "Feeling a bit exposed?"  
  
"This is ridiculous."  
  
"At least we won't have to worry about fighting OZ. They'll all be falling over laughing at our butts or something."  
  
"I just know this stuff is going to rip at the worst moment. It's a plot." Quatre didn't seem to be listening to Duo.  
  
"Very nice." Trowa commented as he walked into the room. He didn't seem at all bothered by the tight black suit.  
  
"Oh shut up," Quatre snapped.  
  
Trowa blinked in surprise.  
  
"This is ridiculous," Wufei was ranting as he walked out into the room. "They will pay for the injustice of trying to embarrass me in this way. When I am through with them they are going to wish that they had never thought up this ridiculous notion. I..."  
  
"Wufei! Enough." Quatre complained as he flopped down on the couch.  
  
Wufei blinked then looked over at Duo. "Now I can see why you didn't want to be seen."  
  
Duo glared at him. "At least I don't have to stick a sock in mine."  
  
Just then Heero walked into the room. Like Trowa he seemed complete unconcerned about the suit. "I don't know what you were complaining about," he commented as he stopped in front of Duo. "There is nothing wrong with this suit."  
  
"Nothing wrong!" Duo squawked. "Nothing wrong! It just reveals every bump, dip and ridge I've got."  
  
Heero casually glanced down Duo's body. "All your bumps, dips and ridges seem to be in the right place."  
  
Duo turned red. "Yeah, well...." he mumbled.  
  
"Duo just doesn't want you to know that he gets hard every time you're near," Quatre retorted.  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"Care to place a bet on that?"  
  
Duo crossed his arms and pouted. "Well, a guy likes to keep some things secret, ya know. A little mystery to spice things up."  
  
Quatre snorted. He didn't want to admit that he privately agreed with Duo. There were some things about a man that was nice to be a mystery.  
  
Just then Trowa leaned down and whispered in Quatre's ear. "I already know everything you've got, Little One. Want to go see how long it takes to get back out of these things?"  
  
Quatre blushed as he looked up at Trowa. Another minute and he'd be the one with the embarrassing erection. "Let's go." Scrambling to his feet he dashed out the door and down the hall.  
  
Trowa smiled at the others before he leisurely followed Quatre from the room.  
  
Wufei glared around the room before turning and storming out the door, muttering under his breath about horny teammates and ridiculous scientists who got off on embarrassing him.  
  
Duo looked at Heero, who still hadn't moved. "Huh, Heero? Is it all right if I take this thing off?"  
  
Heero continued to look at Duo.  
  
Duo shifted nervously. "Heero?"  
  
Suddenly, what only could be described as a leer crossed Heero's face. He reached out and snatched Duo's arm, bringing him close. "How about if I find out if this really does show off every bump, dip and ridge you've got."  
  
Duo blinked at him in surprise. "Huh?"  
  
Heero grinned. "And of course, we'll need to find out how difficult it is to get out of it." With that, Heero dragged Duo down the hall to their room.  
  
"Heero!" 


End file.
